Today, I was feeling really anxious about a situation over which I have no control. As I unpacked my feelings and used my practice of mindfulness to observe the real underlying fears that were contributing to my anxiety, I realized that a lot of it came down to how I was allowing the situation to make me feel about myself. That what might otherwise be a neutral set of circumstances was being colored by my fear of being judged by others and my judgments of myself (a lot of which have been subconsciously shaped by others/society).
While my attempts to tell myself to “just stop worrying about it,” were not successful, once I saw the true root of my fears, I was able to take a new approach that offered much more relief. I was able to remind myself that I would be okay – that I am infinitely loved and lovable. That I am allowed to make mistakes and it doesn’t mean anything about who I am as a person. That I can embrace the choices I have made with understanding and compassion, without the need to label them as good or bad.
Fortunately, whether our circumstances are within our control or not, we always have control over our choice to love ourselves. And that may be the single most important choice we can make.